The Spirit of Giving

There is a reason I don't blog very often.  It's because I have a tendency to ramble.  I know how to write a top-notch thesis, I could probably write a book, but my writing style is very casual and this ADD of mine contributes to my wandering, tangential thoughts :)  And I'll get half way through this post and re-read it and be like "WHAT!?, that is totally rambling and it doesn't flow the way it should and...."

I shall do my best to follow Dr. Seuss' words of advice:  "So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads."

I just saw an article on Facebook about a pastor who dressed up like a homeless person in his own church to see how he would be treated.  **Read the article before you continue**  Even if some of the details aren't completely accurate, the experiment went just as the pastor expected...and just the same as it would most likely happen in our own churches by our own SELVES. 

This article struck me because the church we attend now in Gaithersburg, MD (Grace UMC) is located near Old Towne and serves a sizable homeless population.  The church doors are always open and available for people to use the restroom, get some water from the fountain, etc.  The youth serve meals in the homeless shelters in the area, the church does food drives for Gaithersburg HELP (food bank), and they also offer ESOL classes to non-English speakers in the area, etc.  Very locally focused on the needs of the community, as most Methodist churches are.  I don't get to go to church often because, well, Reece just won't sit and right now, there just isn't one individual with fast enough running shoes to be his "buddy" every Sunday so I can worship in peace.  But I have seen "people who obviously aren't members" of the church in the building several times.  It is very possible that homeless persons are present during Sunday services as well, but since I am rarely there, I don't get a chance to interact with them. 

So if someone like this man did show up at our church one Sunday, how would people react?  (and please know, this isn't a question to the people of my church specifically)  If they have kids and their kids notice this person, how would the parents explain?  What would they be thinking in the privacy of their own minds?  How many would be cognizant of the fact that GOD knows what you're thinking even if no one else hears it out loud?   You know...."oh my goodness, why would he come to church dressed like that?  Ooohhhh, he must be homeless, well gosh couldn't he have taken a shower at a shelter or something?  Well, I'm just going to sit here and do my thing and let God "take care of" this person.  I'm here for the service and because folks expect to see me on Sundays.  I'm going to give my weekly tithe ($20?  $50?  $100?) and be on my merry way for lunch after church at the IHOP.   Helping the homeless just "isn't my thing". 

Several years ago, when we still lived in Georgia, we attended a small Methodist church in Lawrenceville called Prospect UMC.  Our pastor there at the time was Grady Mosley.  He was at the pulpit when I finally broke down and went back to church seeking peace in my heart after Reece was born with Down syndrome. He baptized both of my sons. Pastor Grady was the first person to visit me in the hospital when Owen was born 4 weeks premature.  Loved that guy, especially when he suggested we have "College Football Sunday" and everyone could wear their school jerseys to church...loved that!   He's a UGA fan, but I still love him :)  People in Maryland just *don't get it!*  

But I digress.....one Sunday Pastor Grady told a story in his sermon about ripples....I feel like it was from Dr. Suess but I just can't remember.(irritated

that I can't remember!)  But the bottom line was, even the smallest things you do can change someone else's life.  Even speaking to someone in the grocery store parking lot.  Saying "Good Morning" to someone you don't know at the gas station.  Saying "have a great day" to the lady at the McDonald's drive-thru window.   Running to open the door for a man at the post office who is carrying a bulky package.  It can change the way they perceive themselves, the world, and everyone else around them.  It doesn't have to be some monumental effort.   You don't have to wait for an organized event.   Just the smallest acknowledgement of others is such a gift!  And that cliche' WWJD....if you ask yourself that throughout the day, you'll recognize that Jesus would always greet someone else, always open the door, and always acknowledge those around Him...especially the "least of these". It's just SO easy to do.  It takes SO little effort.  And most importantly, you shouldn't feel "uncomfortable" doing it.

I've always enjoyed helping others, but some kinds of "giving of myself" force me out of my comfort zone.    One night I was on my way to Outback Steakhouse, and a homeless man was standing there on the off-ramp holding a sign.  I remember feeling very nervous, but most definitely "nudged".  DANG why won't this light turn?   I hope I get through this light before it turns again and I get stuck here.  I don't want to have to make eye-contact with him.  I'll just look away, or stare into the distance, or turn backwards and pretend like I'm helping my kids or something.  Sound familiar?  I didn't have any cash to give him, I was by myself with Reece and Owen in the car, and I was too afraid to open my window.  :(   But as we were eating dinner, I thought to myself "Self?  Order the man some food and take it back to him".  So I did.  My heart was racing as I debated actually ordering "to-go".  My heart was racing as I got the boys back in the car.  My heart was racing as I drove back to the spot where that man was (I had to get back on the interstate north, and then exit, and come back to get off the exit South to be able to stop at the light there).  What if he was just a panhandler?  Why do I want to bother for someone who might not really need it?  ("Stop thinking like that", God whispered in my ear)  I could hardly breathe, but he was still there, and we got caught at the light (which I was hoping for!).  And I rolled down my window, and I handed this bag of hot chicken with bacon and cheese and mashed potatoes and mac and cheese and a cup of sweet tea to this man.  His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.  Surely he had been given a few dollars here and there, he knew what a "rolled down window" usually meant.  Someone who would hand him a few bucks and drive away back to their comfortable life...that is "convenient giving", right?  But then he got tears, he seemed to not be able to fathom that some stranger would go to this effort.  We had this brief moment before the light turned, but I found the courage to reach out my hand and grab his and squeeze it.  I didn't have to say anything, and he didn't have to say anything.

I don't have any photographs of this momentous occasion except for those in my head and my heart.  And truly, who knows if that man even remembers me, but THAT.ISN'T.THE.POINT  My pastor felt compelled to share a message about ripples.  I HEARD it and I stepped up when God showed me a chance.  My pastor started a ripple with his sermon, one of his many ripples in my life.  Pastor Grady helped me not be afraid to be "uncomfortable".  God showed me a need, I had the means to help, and the only thing I had to get over was my fear of  having to look this homeless man in the face and acknowledge him.  Because, really, isn't that what makes us the most uncomfortable?  And if so, why?  What is it that makes us look down on others so instinctively?  What is it that makes us roll our eyes or pull back or curl our lip?  Even in our online/social media experiences....we get an irritating post from somebody and we just snarl....we all do it second nature.  We probably don't even realize it!  What IS that!?  It's ugly, is what it is.  And Jesus knows every time we do it too. 

Reece and Nikki Trease, 2013 Buddy Cruise

Yesterday Reece and Owen had the chance to go to our local homeless shelter and cook and serve the people there with our church youth group.  What an incredible opportunity, and Reece just LOVES to be included and feel helpful.  He loves to give of himself.  He does it naturally.  (well, except when he's punching Owen in the head for absolutely no reason)  Reece has a very loving heart, as he shows here with Nikki Trease on this year's Buddy Cruise!  He would have done great.  I couldn't help but think about how much he would have loved doing that (for a short while), and what a positive message his service there could have meant in the hearts and minds of those individuals.  Come to think of it, what a message he sends to our whole church....this child who can't sit still during church, and is probably looked at "uncomfortably" himself by some people who just don't understand his needs.  His gift is that he doesn't recognize difference.  He doesn't understand what "separates" him from them.  Because NOTHING really separates any of us besides our own selfish ideas.  What makes me really sad is that we didn't go.  It was a 7 hour event.  We found other things to fill our time yesterday instead of serving when we had a chance to do so.  For that, I am very sorry.  I am very disappointed in myself.  Through this article, God has reminded me of my own free-will (poor selfish decision) to sit home and not feel like dealing with Reece having a total meltdown in front of all of those people (which might have happened).

Anyway, here I am rambling again. The point is that when you feel convicted to give, even if you're afraid, DO IT.  Even if you're worried about your gift being misused.  God judges that scam artist the same way He judges you.  Give with no expectation or desire to be recognized or thanked.  THAT is the spirit of giving.  Giving because the need exists, and because you have SOME means to help.   When you give of yourself, even in the smallest ways, you are sharing that spirit of giving and the light of Christ with others. 

Dasha & Katya Doyle w/ "Auntie", Reece's Rainbow Family Reunion, Luray VA 2013

Just about everything in my life is connected to my work with Reece's Rainbow.  I have bad days, but I live in service to those I am able to help, even if adopting isn't the best choice for my family specifically.  Chances are I will never get to see many of these kids (although it's such an amazing blessing when I do!)  Chances are I will never meet most of the families in person.  But it doesn't matter.  That doesn't make them any less real.  

I remember growing up that my mom had known she wanted to be a nurse and a mom since she was in 5th grade. She never wanted to do anything else.  She was gifted with this sense of direction since her earliest years, and I just drifted and drifted for the longest time.  I changed my major in college 4 times, and even then, I didn't end up using the degrees I have! (Criminal Justice & Spanish)  And just when I thought my life was finally going somewhere...I was married, had a great job, beautiful home, new baby on the way....God gave me a child with Down syndrome.  And my husband and whole family will tell you, I did not take this "wrench in the plans" well.  I still don't.  It's HARD.  It's not pleasant sometimes. 

HOWEVER......God made my purpose very clear when he gave me Reece.  My calling is to step up for these kids and be a voice they have never had before.  After I laid in the hospital bed when Reece was born crying to myself "I don't want to be a flag waver".  God has built it all.  When He calls you to serve, even when it's scary, even when you feel completely inadequate, even if you don't have a penny to give....you can still cause a ripple to grow.  God is everywhere.  He is watching and He is waiting for YOU to step up.  He shouldn't have to drag you kicking and screaming to do it. I didn't know anything about Down syndrome.  I didn't know anything about orphans.  Shoot, I didn't even know as much as I thought I did about being a MOM.  But God uses my grief and fear, when I repeatedly say to myself "I don't want this life!"   People who are homeless don't want that "life" either.  Kids who are born with disabilities don't ask for that "life".  And NO ONE ever wants to feel abandoned.   Because I have a child with obvious special needs, I am ever more cognizant of the way people view him.  I go out of my way to introduce him to people in an effort to ease their discomfort.  I always hope that the next time they see or meet someone with Down syndrome or other disabilities, that they will remember the seed we planted with Reece's handshake and not be as anxious.    NO CHILD should be without a champion of their own.   

Even if adopting isn't the right choice for your family, you can make a difference in the lives of these abandoned children by donating, sharing on FB, tweeting, blogging, sharing at your church, leading a Buddy Walk table, attending the National S Convention, whatever you can think of.  Please visit our 2013 Angel Tree and consider giving "the gift of a family" to a child with Down syndrome this Christmas!